26th April

Leo Tolstoy

"55 years ago I was born and except the 14 or 15 years of my childhood, for more than 35 years I lived as a nihilist in the real sense of the word which does not mean socialist neither revolutionary like we would usually believe but in this sense which means I did not have any faith at all.

5 years ago I started to believe in Christ's teaching and then my life suddenly changed. I stopped to desire what I had desired before, and I started to desire what I had not desired before. What seemed good to me up to that time started to seem bad to me, and what seemed bad to me seemed to be good. I was like a man who went out to accomplish a task and on the way realizes that there is no need to do so and returns home. What was on his right side is now on his left side and what was on his left side now is on his right side; his first desire to move off from his house turns into the desire to draw near to his house. My life orientation, my desires have changed: good and bad have changed their place.

I do not intend to comment Christ's doctrine; I only wish to explain that this doctrine is simple, clear, accessible, indubitable and universal and that it opened itself to me. I realized that Christ touched my soul and gave me serenity or calmness and happiness."